Community

7 o’clock Saturday night, I was:

a) Out finishing a hike
b) Playing flip cup with friends
c) Getting showered and ironing my clothes for the night
d) In my pajamas watching Mexican soap operas with my mother and sister.

If you guessed d, I HATE YOU! Nah, but seriously, if you guessed d, do you watch Corazon Salvaje too? Because it’s the real deal! Juan del Diablo is in love with Aime (it’s actually just an obsession, but he doesn’t realize that yet), who is the most beautiful woman on television. Aime is in love with Juan, but since her father, Rodrigo, the corrupt, money hungry bastard who ruined Juan’s family, is Juan’s arch-enemy, they can’t be together. She’s scandalous anyways, because she’s engaged to poor Renato, who isn’t poor, he’s just too damn sweet and gullible, head-over-heels in lust with Aime, willing to do whatever she tells him to. And then you’ve got Regina, Aime’s “pure” twin sister, who, as we can all tell, is not so “pure” in her thoughts, ‘cause she’s actually in love with Renato, but Renato is too stupid to notice it, and so her love goes on unrequited. Oh, the drama! And I haven’t even mentioned the pirates, the land schemes, the spies, the brothels, the gypsy girl, or Juan’s plan for a complete rebellion!

So yeah…d…you know me too well.

I was ok with Corazon Salvaje being the pinnacle of my evening, eating brownies and ice cream with mom and sis, but as it all turned out, I ended up at a free T-Payne concert at USC with my crew, Max and the triple S (Sarah, Sean, and Sebastian, the Swedes), and somehow, between the concert, beers, a tequila bar, and massive rooftop chess in the middle of the downtown skyline, I didn’t get into bed until 5. Wheresoever the mighty wind blows.

This is not what I intended to write about. Damn it. Tangents, tangents, tangents. Am I the only one that thinks in tangents? Here we go. I’m focused.

I love my church. I don’t love my church because it’s massive, or because it’s breathtaking, I love my church because it’s MY church. Standing at the back window of the chapel I can see my mother’s house a quarter mile away. It’s nice to have a home, I’ve decided.

I just started going back to church religiously (that’s a really clever play on words there) about 4 months ago. It’s funny, you never know you’re known until you disappear for a little while. “Sergio, it’s so nice to have you back!” I’m lucky enough to hear almost every Sunday. When I was younger, it used to annoy me, mostly because I was self-involved. Today, I think it’s just nice to be part of a community.

2 rows in front of me Kirsty, Rushdi, and their 5 kids filled up nearly the entire row. I’ve known Kirsty for 10 years. A couple pews over to the left of me Christy, who I was baptized with 10 years ago, stood next to her husband Gabriel, and their 4 adopted boys. 3 rows up on my right, big Bob, and I mean 7 foot tall Bob with the giant hands, the long face, and the slight hunch in his back, sat next to his slightly plump wife Sandy, dressed in her soft purple Sunday dress. When Bob saw me, he broke his long face with that soft-hearted smile everyone loves.

Standing for communion I felt a hand on my shoulder, Mike and Kathleen, who I hadn’t seen in over a year, were processing next to me. It was good to see them. And after receiving communion, I walked around the back of the church to get to my seat, and I passed David and his dad Dan, my soccer coach from the ages of 11 to 14. I shook their hands and smiled. We usually go to different masses.

Friday afternoon, at the library working on my book, I glanced over and saw Doug, the mildly mentally handicapped guy Aaron and I used to tease years ago when the Edwards was actually inside the mall, and Doug worked the door. About 3 years ago I saw him working at the Shell gas station down the road, and I went up to him and apologized. He forgave me, non-chalantly. I still feel a little bad about how we were to him; maybe I always will. Maybe I’ll carry that around, stored away in my pocket for days when I need a little humility.

My life, and the people in it.

I think about all the people I saw today. A few of them had a huge role in my life at some point, most of them had none, and will never have one. Most of them will never be more than smiling faces, hands I shake, or cheeks I kiss once a week. At this moment, I find that really beautiful, and I accept it. I used to look at these types of relationships and say, “Ugh! It’s just all so fake!” I was immature. I only wanted “REAL” things. I have since found out, that a lot of “REAL” things, and “REAL” people, are full of as much shit as everyone else. I love all you fuckers.

Max, Sarah, Sean, Sebastian, Palak, Nava, Deepa, Dipen, Mandy, Mom, Jess, all the people at church, the guy at the gas station, my neighbors…these are the people I see at least once a week, without mentioning the people I talk to on the phone, chat with, skype with, write to. And what about my family, my friends, and others I hardly ever see, but who helped shape, and still shape my life, my thoughts, my beliefs? What about Juan del Diablo, Aime, Big Boy on the radio, Manny frickin’ Medrano on the morning news?! You laugh, but these people are part of my life, my every single day life.

Before I traveled, I believed that there was more out there. Out where? Out there, in the world. I believed that there were people that were going to show me what I could never have known before, that there were things that lay hidden and secret, that there were cooler people, that there were places I’d fit in better, but there aren’t. Travel is great, and the people you meet are incredible, but if you’re looking that far out of yourself for answers…you’re looking too far. For years, I was looking too far.

“'What sins you forgive, will be forgiven, and the one who is retained, will be retained.' Retain your brothers and sisters, keep them with you,” Father Blaise, one of my closest friends, said this Sunday. There are thousands of priests out there, and there are probably other good ones, great ones even, but he is my priest, and he has taught me so much.

By fate, by chance, by luck, by God, we have been given these lives, with these people, with these places, with these things, and in them lay all the secrets, all the wisdom, all the love, drama, passion, grace and redemption that has ever been born into the world.